Listen… it’s been a solid eight-year rollercoaster of therapy, meds, diagnoses (plural? Honestly who cares — you get the point). I’ve sat on every couch imaginable: OT’s, psychologists, and now a psychiatrist who is chilled AF. Like… suspiciously chilled. So chilled that it low-key freaks me out, but maybe that’s just my brain chemistry doing its usual acrobatics.
Over the years, I’ve been handed answers, tools, medication, and a weirdly comforting collection of “aha” moments that usually arrive at 2am. And through all of it, one thing has become painfully obvious:
So many of us are fighting quiet, exhausting battles in our own heads.
Intrusive thoughts.
Imaginary arguments.
Catastrophic scenarios.
Panic spirals that come out of nowhere.
Reaching for the quickest fix just to shut the feelings up.
We don’t talk about it enough — but this is exactly how addiction creeps in. You’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, under-regulated and suddenly that one coping mechanism becomes the only coping mechanism. Then comes the shame. Then the spiral. Then the vicious circle that feels impossible to break.
And honestly?
We beat ourselves up WAY too hard.
A massive chunk of this circus is just… brain chemistry.
And growing up in an era where nobody gave us tools, nobody had language for this stuff, and the stigma was thicker than the Bible in your ouma’s lounge cabinet.
I’ve been called:
“She’s nuts — but like… in a fun way.”
“She’s too much.”
“She’s excessive.”
“She’s loud.”
“She’s blunt.”
“She’s reactive.”
And look, I’ve reached a point where I can admit some of it is true. My particular wiring means my emotional baseline sits at about 300%. So even though I CAN trust my emotions (because they’re real and valid), I have to be VERY careful about the thoughts I allow through the door… because once I feel something? Oh honey, I’m not dipping a toe. I’m diving straight into the effing ocean.
Therapy has been life-changing, but here’s the part no one warns you about:
You can lie to a therapist without even realising you’re doing it.
Not intentionally — you just share the version of yourself you think is true.
But you… YOU are the only one who knows yourself intimately.
You’re the only one who can access the whole messy truth.
And sometimes that truth tastes like battery acid.
But here’s the magic:
When you finally get brutally honest with yourself?
It’s liberating as hell.
You start attracting people who get it.
People who’ve done their own inner work.
People who don’t flinch when you say, “Hey… I’m not doing great today.”
And the ones who judge you?
The ones who whisper and roll their eyes and call you “too much”?
That says SO much more about them than it ever will about you.
We get to choose our circle. And personally?
I’ll take a group of self-aware, slightly unhinged, beautifully broken humans over “perfect” people any day.
Because here’s the truth no one admits:
Most people are fighting demons you’ll never see.
Life is heavy.
Connection is essential.
And yet we’re all sitting alone behind screens trying to regulate our emotions with caffeine, coping mechanisms, and sheer willpower.
So here’s my advice — the real, gentle, sometimes brutal kind:
Listen to your body.
Listen to your doctors.
Use the tools.
Speak up.
Get support.
And be selfish as hell when you need to be.
Because you cannot pour from an empty cup.
And if you keep pretending you’re fine when you’re actually running on fumes… that cup is going to crack.
Take care of yourself first.
Then take care of the world.
You deserve to be here!